Money and B t(hes
by axelDANGERfrankenstein
Summary: Vash and Knives and other guys make money and sex b*tches except you aren't supposed to say b*tch in the title or description so that complicates things. Has bad words and references to sex and drugs.


**I have returned and I'm done with school so now I can spend all my time reading and writing fanfictions yay!**

Vash and Wolfwood and Knives and Legato and Saxophone Jones and the cat were in their mansion, sitting in piles of money and surrounded by their bitches. It was huge pretty mansion with big fancy windows and many bathrooms and a pool. None of the guys had sad backstories anymore and none of them were evil or dead because they were handsome and it made me sad when they had flashbacks to their tragic pasts where Steve was mean to them and apparently Legato got raped or something but not by Steve. I don't know what Saxophone Jones's deal is but he likes to play a saxophone and kill people and he isn't actually named Saxophone Jones.

Anyway they were all cool now and they had money and bitches and also cocaine except for Vash because he was a good boy. He was doing sex with a couple of his bitches while Knives and Legato were snorting cocaine out of vaginas. Wolfwood was smoking pot with pcp on it too. He looked at the clock. "Guys, it's almost time for the award show." he said and they all stopped sexing their bitches and got in the limo and then sexed bitches in the limo.

At the award show they all won an award because they were awesome and they were on the MTV. Vash gave a speech.

"This is so unexpected! We'd like to thank the academy, and our bitches, and uh…"

"Our drug dealer, Larry!" Wolfwood said. Legato added, "And thanks to Satan!"

Then they all started to sex their bitches on stage while the MTV filmed them. But the FCC didn't like that. They sent them a strongly worded letter! "Oh fuck the FCC sent us a letter." Legato Legato'd as he sexed his bitches at 85% sexing. "We should kill them!" said Knives.

"No you can't kill them!" exclaimed Vash.

"They have to die!" Knives and Legato and Saxophone Jones finished sexing and did some cocaine to prepare for all the ass-kicking. Legato beckoned the bitches to come with them as they left to go kill the FCC.

"Bitches, no, stay with me! Love and peace!" Vash pleaded.

"We like Legato more than you. He's a bad boy and he has pretty hair." They all talked at once and then they left.

Vash yelled after them "Come back! Is this because I don't do the cocaine?! I'll change for you, bitches!" He turned to Wolfwood. "Take me to Larry!"

They got in the limo and drove to a trailer outside of town where Larry grew and sell all the drugs. Wolfwood knocked on the door. "Larry, it's me, Wolfwood! Don't worry there aren't any cops!"

Larry undid a bunch of locks and opened the door. He had a shotgun. "Who's this other guy? He's not a cop is he?!"

"Does he look like a cop?"

"He looks like a beluga whale!"

"Have you been doing the acid, Larry?" "MAYBE!"

Larry took Vash and Wolfwood to the room where he kept the big piles of cocaine. "Yes! Sell me all of this cocaine!" Vash took some wads of cash out and threw them at Larry, then dove into the cocaine pile screaming and snorted lots of the cocaine. Wolfwood and Larry smoked some more pot while they watched him with the amused. "Don't do too much cocaine, man, you'll die." "BIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCHEEEEEEEEEEEEEES! Let's go to the FCC now!" He got some big bags of cocaine for the road and they took the limo to the FCC and Larry came with them cause he was stoned and down with whatever.

The FCC had a giant building that was shaped like the letters FCC and was made of many chairs and pillows and blankets all stacked on top of each other. Dead bodies littered the area and they were dead. The gung-ho guns were killing them with guns and weird magic powers while the bitches watched and got all wet and stuff. Vash drove the limo into the building because he was on too much cocaine. He and Wolfwood and Larry all jumped out and it did some flips and exploded.

"Bitches I do cocaine now PLEASE LOVE ME I NEED YOUR VALIDATION!" He snorted some more cocaine but then he started vomiting and fell over!

"Oh noes he is OD'ing! I'll give him last rites." Wolfwood said because he was a preacher. A preacher who had money and bitches and smoked drugs and killed people. Don't question it.

"Wait we could try stabbing him in the chest with this needle." Said Larry who had a needle in case someone OD'd because he didn't want to have dead bitches in his drug trailer.

Knives grabbed the needle because he always wanted to stab his brother in the chest it was a sexual thing. He took off Vash's jacket. He was really muscular and sexy and stuff and there were a bunch of scars and metal things. Knives penetrated him with the needle and gave him an adrenaline shot to the heart which made him stop ODing.

"Vash you're alive and I have bisexual incestuous fantasies about you!" Then they started to make out and Vash was bisexual too. The other guys and the bitches and the cat all joined in and they had a big sexy bicurious orgy. They put it on the MTV because the FCC was dead and all the kids at home watched and cheered.

 **Don't do cocaine, kids.**


End file.
